Just one idea that might change how you show up for your family and your future.
I snapped at my daughter last week.
Sophie's ten. She'd been waiting all day for me to get home, and she came bounding up the hallway with something she wanted to show me — I couldn't even tell you now what it was. And I'd just walked in the door with nothing left in the tank. Flat out at work, building the business, mind still back at the desk chewing on a problem I hadn't solved. Mentally done.
And instead of getting down on her level, I brushed her off. Short. Sharp. I made her feel like whatever she was holding didn't matter.
I saw it land on her face. And she wandered off a bit smaller than she'd come.
That night, once the house was quiet, I sat there and hated myself for it…………...
Here's the thing I've had to sit with, and maybe you have too. The reason I snapped isn't that I don't love her. It's the opposite. I was empty because I'd spent the whole day pouring myself into building something for her. Providing. Protecting. Trying to give her opportunities I never had. The very thing that makes me a decent dad — that drive to give my kid a better crack at life than I got — is the same thing that had me walking in the door with nothing left to give the actual kid standing in front of me.
I work with dads for a living. Hard men, most of them. Driven, capable, successful… honourable — the kind who've built real things and provided for a lot of people. And when you get past the armour, nearly every one of them is carrying the same quiet ache. They're working themselves into the ground for their families and somehow ending up with less of themselves left over for their families. And they lie awake at night feeling like they're getting everything wrong.
I want to say something to those blokes today. And to you, if you're one of them.
We don't get much credit, us dads. We're cast as the harder one. The less patient one. The one who's no good at the emotional stuff, who communicates like a brick, who's the butt of the joke at family barbecues. And look — sometimes we've earned it. But so much of what gets read as "not caring" is actually a bloke caring so hard he's run himself dry.
You don't have to be perfect. I need you to hear that today of all days. You're going to snap. You're going to miss the moment. You're going to be too tired, too flat, too in-your-own-head to be the dad you pictured being. That doesn't make you a failure. It makes you a father who's carrying a load.
What matters isn't that you never get it wrong. It's that you notice. That you go back. That the next morning you find her and say, "Love, I was short with you last night and that wasn't on. I'm sorry." Kids don't need a dad who never drops the ball. They need one who picks it back up and owns it. That's the whole thing. That's the job.
Because here's what I believe, right down to the ground. Strong families are the cornerstone of every strong community. They're the fabric that holds the whole thing together. And strong families are built by ordinary, exhausted, imperfect dads who keep showing up and keep trying — not by perfect ones, because there's no such thing.
So to every dad out there slogging it out — providing, protecting, getting it wrong, owning it, and fronting up again the next day to do better —
Thank you.
Truly. What you carry matters more than anyone tells you.
And to the mums and the sons & daughters reading this — here's your job today.
Keep the present. We don't need it. Go and find your bloke, give him a hug, and tell him you love & appreciate him. Tell him you actually love that he's not perfect. He needs to hear it more than he'll ever let on.
And to all the dad’s out there…. Happy Father's Day. You rock!!!
Cheers Ben
(The Sometimes Shitty Dad)
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Disclaimer: The information contained in this article is general in nature and for education purposes only. It is not financial advice. No one should act on the information without appropriate specific advice for your particular circumstances. Ben Law is a former financial advisor but is no longer licensed and cannot and will not give you specific or personal advice in this article. The Financial Bloke Group Pty Ltd accepts no responsibility for any loss or damage occasioned by any person acting or refraining from action as a result of reliance on the information in this article.